
The old guys, in draft day order:
Team: Beer Leaguer (aka Leaker)
Name: Tim, Timmy, Timmer, Tool-Man
Favorite Team: Edmonton Oilers ... shit that's two for Sykora already ...
NHL Equivalent: Jim Rutherford (Carolina GM)
No matter what Jim/Tim tries to motivate his top prospect, he just can't get his guy to stick in the big league. Two seasons is too long to wait for some guy who may never make it. It's time to trade Johnson/Schremp for pucks and a pick.
Team: Creepy Gilmore (aka Happy, Hippy, Sleepy, Dopey, Sappy - Gilmore)
Name: Barry, Bear-cat, Little Bear
Favorite Team:
NHL Equivalent: John Ferguson Jr. (Toronto GM)
Enough with the old guys already. Last year's draft was Allison, Federov, Foote, Kasparitis, Yzerman. The lockout was only one year man. This was a line-up from Trivial Pursuit 90's Edition. This year with he's got Tkachuk and that overpriced D-man. Jovo would look great in the Blue & White, eh? Toronto will never win another Stanley Cup, and Creepy will never ... well you do the math.
Team: MILF Hunter KnowsPicks
Name: Brian, Big Johnson, MILF Hunter, MILFy
Favorite Team: Detroit RedWings
NHL Equivalent: Garth Snow (NYI GM & Back-Up Goaltender)
Really just a puppet GM. Last year Tim picked his team. This year it was Greg. Hopefully this year, the puppet's team doesn't do better than the puppet-master's team, like it did last year. Greg set him up this year with some Salary Cap problems, just to see if he's awake!
Team: Forgot My Jock
Name: Chad, Chadwick, FMJ, Chaddy Kathy, Jock
Favorite Team: Philadelphia Flyers
NHL Equivalent: Bobby Clarke
Flyer 4-ever! Thinks goons can help him win. Offer sheets, explicatives with the media, I could go on and on.
Team: Stumblin' n' Bumblin'
Name: Doug, Dougie, Douglas, Digger?
Favorite Team: Maybe his son's Pee-Wee team? I dunno.
NHL Equivalent: Doug Risebrough?
I've really got nothing on this guy. Very quiet off-season, no bone-head moves. Maybe this year we'll get some dirt?
Team: Saddam Iffy
Name: Greg, Iffy, no other suitable nick-names in play
Favorite Team: Edmonton Oilers
NHL Equivalent: Lou Lamoriello (Devil's GM)
Salary cap wizard, screwer of other GM's, statistician extraordinaire, pure magician, sarcastic prick (added by Mrs Iffy). There's nobody smarter or more egotistical than this guy.
Team: Outlaws
Name: Reg, Reggie
Favorite Team: Calgary Flames?
NHL Equivalent: Chuckie Wang (NYI Owner)
Wang figures that Sumo wrestlers could be great goalies and goalies can be great GM's. What's next - forget about defensemen and stock up with forwards? Yup - Reggie tried that last year.
Team: Stadnicky
Name: Brad, Bradnyk, Jacques Demers
Favorite Team: Humboldt Bandwagon Burners
NHL Equivalent: Glen Sather
Throws money around like it's going out of style. (thanks for draft night, btw!) If only the salary cap was $150M, he could put together a full roster. Either has no time to read the rules or Hooked on Phonics wasn't one of the mandatory classes in chemical engineering.
New Guys:
Quagmire Sean, Kernel Kern, Broker Bill
Welcome to Superdraft! Here's hoping you can make names for yourselves! Suggestions are always welcome.
2 comments:
You just wait, Schremp will make the bigs next year, score 60 goals....In the imortal words of a very wise man...DOH!!!!!!
Well since you can't protect him for a 3rd year I quess you can use your #1 overall pick again so that you can carry him for another 2 years...
Are you sure he is ever going to crack the Edmonton lineup? I think a Schremp for Hamrlik and Amonte deal should be worked out so that he can actually get some icetime in the NHL.
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